


Blissfully Dreaming

by ALCzysz17



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bonding, Darcy is losing her shit, Drinking (slight), F/M, Guilt, I believe in friendships!!, Kissing, Natasha is awesome, Sad, Steve is hot, Tony's got heart, angst with happy ending, angsty, bring on the tissues, cursing, head case, minor smut, so damn long, wont be sad forever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 04:43:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALCzysz17/pseuds/ALCzysz17
Summary: When a mission goes terribly wrong and causes the death of an important member of the team, Darcy must work through her grief and feelings of survivors guilt with a heavy does of insomnia. When her dreams bring her the one thing that makes her happy what will she choose? A horrible reality, or a blissful dream?





	Blissfully Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> So I just wanted to let it be known that this oneshot is based off of an episode of a show that I will state at the end of the story so no one is spoiled by it, but it was one of my favorite episodes of the series and before I knew it I spent three solid days writing this damn story for y'all. It's been so long since my creative juices were overflowing like this, so please enjoy and let me know whatcha think!! 
> 
> P.S-totally couldn't think of a name for this story and when I wrote the summary I figured that was the best title for it. ^_~

 

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her eyes watered terribly as she sat on the floor of the waiting room. It was supposed to be a simple mission that they asked her to join because she was good with the tech portion. Darcy had been so excited; she couldn’t have jumped up fast enough to join the Avengers. Natasha smiled at her enthusiasm, directing her to where she would stay on the quinjet while they got ready to fly out to Europe where the mission was. Clint didn’t seem to have a problem with her joining them, even Tony didn’t care though that isn’t exactly saying much.

It was just Steve who came off unhappy about the whole situation. Darcy had a feeling it had to do with the fact that she was technically a civilian, but she had worked with Jane for four years now and there were many mishaps and dangerous situations that her astrophysicist best friend had gotten her into and she made it out on the other side! She knew she could handle a simple mission of staying safely inside the jet and working the coms for the team.

Easy-peasy.

Except it wasn’t.

The mission was going off without a hitch; Darcy manned the coms and watched the monitors that showed the team’s vital signs and the cameras placed on them for her visual of their surroundings. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but she was great at multi-tasking so after a minute Darcy got the hang of switching through everyone’s feeds. Watching the action so close by was both exciting and terrifying for her.

Of course, the team kicked ass like no one’s business yet the mere fact that the danger was close by is what scared her the most and that one wrong move could result in damage for her avenging friends. That was motivation enough to keep her eyes peeled and her attention front and center.

Too bad she didn’t do that for herself as well.

The blast had taken Darcy by surprise, knocking her off balance from her precarious perch on the edge of her seat. She hit the counsel hard, jarring her. She collapsed to the ground, trying to suck in air greedily through her mouth even though having the wind knocked out of her didn’t help. After a moment another booming blast rocked the jet causing Darcy to let out a scream at the violent movement.

“Darcy! I’m coming!” Steve shouted over the com. Darcy forced air into her chest, coughing for a second before commenting back, “Hurry…”

A third blast went off, this one taking the bay doors down almost like a jaw dropping. Darcy flinched at the loud, screeching noise of the metal being wrenched apart and the feeling of the bay door dropping open. Thinking quickly, she scrambled to her feet, reaching for the gun that Natasha left her with; just in case.

Just in case her ass.

Darcy took the safety off and cocked the barrel, putting her hands in the right positions like she was taught and aiming at the back of the jet. She breathed slowly though her heart pounded rapidly in her chest as she waited for someone to appear. She could hear the grunting and talking of the Avengers as they took care of the Hydra goons but she had yet to hear Steve.

Suddenly two men came barreling into the jet, AK’s at the ready. Startled she pulled the trigger, hitting one of them in the shoulder before a shield slammed into the other, ricocheting off of him and hitting the other guy who was still gripping his shoulder.

Steve appeared not even a mere second later, breathing harshly through his mouth looking around almost frantically for her. Darcy gave a wave from her crouched position by the counsel, bringing down the gun so it wasn’t aimed directly at him. His shoulders dropped in relief as he caught sight of her.

“Darcy,” he breathed out causing a smile to come to her lips. Her shoulders eased from their position up by her neck before gripping the armrest of the seat beside her to pull herself up to her feet.

“Great timing,” she managed to say without a hitch in her breath.

“I try,” Steve said back, a grin making its way on his lips. Quickly he crossed towards her, yanking his shield up on his left arm so gracefully that Darcy felt a pinch of jealousy at how smooth that was. She wondered if he did it because that’s what he always did or, (in her wildest dreams) he did it to impress her.

Most likely the former than latter, she thought.

“We need to get the jet fixed and prepared for departure,” Steve told her before they both started checking the vitals of the jet.

There was some definite damage from the Hydra idiots trying to blast their way in, well trying was irreverent considering they succeeded. Darcy glanced at Steve to see his jaw clenched tightly, lips pressed together in a frown as they both assessed the amount of damage the jet received.

“Clint, Tony, I’m not sure the quinjet is gonna be able to lift off,” Steve commented into his com, glancing over to Darcy with a slight twitch of worry at the corner of his mouth.

“Give me a moment I’ll be there to see what’s up,” Clint replied back, grunting with effort. Darcy looked to his monitor to see him shooting arrows off at a line of men coming towards him. They had shields blocking his arrows. “Someone help me get these assholes off my back!”

“On it,” Natasha answered. Darcy looked to her screen to see the Black Widow racing towards Clint. She easily took out some men allowing a break in their shields and giving Clint the opportunity to take a few out with his arrows.

The sudden and abrupt sound of an AK going off startled Darcy from her screen viewing, she whipped around to see the Hydra goon that she shot holding his AK with smoke coming out of the barrel. She heard the grunting and coughing beside her before Darcy was lifting the gun in her hand and letting out one bullet right into the guy’s neck.

He dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Darcy turned around to see Steve lying prone on the counsel, gasping for air and coughing violently. Blood practically poured out of his wounds like water slipping between fingers. She moved towards Steve, only then noticing that her abdomen was bleeding profusely. She dropped to her knees, a pained whine coming out of her lips as her hand pressed down on her wound.

“Steve!” Darcy yelled out painfully, reaching a hand over to touch the back of his knee somehow hoping that maybe that could help him. He let out a pained groan then he clasped down against the bolted seat behind him, sliding from there down to his butt on the ground. “Steve,” she said again, touching his shoulder now as he turned his head to look at her.

There was blood dripping from the corner of his lips.

“D..Dar..cy…” he coughed, his body shaking from the force of it.

Darcy pressed harder to her wound, trying not to cry out from the pain. This was not how this mission was supposed to go! Tears welled in the corner of her eyes as she gazed at him. Their eyes connected for a brief moment before hers closed, letting lose tears. “Don’t…d-don’t cry…” Steve mumbled out, barely coherent.

She started to feel fuzzy, like her brain was slowly shutting down on her. I’m dying, she thought, wishing she could chuckle at how fucked up this was. How excited she had been to go on this stupid mission, she couldn’t even blame herself fully for what happened. Steve turned his back on the men too. Darcy suddenly felt weak and collapsed forward, landing with her face on Steve’s legs.

Funny how she had always wanted to be this close to the man dressed in red, white and blue. She thinks she hears him call out to her, but her mind was even fuzzier than before. Her thoughts were beginning to grow sluggish and everything was starting to fade out, first her vision before she just couldn’t hold her eyes open any longer and then her hearing went and then…

Nothing…

She woke abruptly.

Sitting up quickly and looking around her though really it was pointless when her vision was so bad and she didn’t have her glasses on. Grasping around on the side table she eventually grabbed her glasses, almost dropping them to the ground in her rush. Once sight was granted to her, she assessed her room finding it to be one of many at the med-bay in the Avenger’s tower.

Once Darcy knew where she was she took in herself. There was an I.V in her right arm attached with a bag of saline by the bed. She then lifted up the edge of her blanket to see the usual hospital clothes then lifting up the open back shirt to see her abdomen covered up with a bandage.

She took a moment to stare down at the bandage, thinking back to those scary moments when she thought she was dying. Well really she was dying, but clearly she was saved. Her thoughts then jumped to Steve.

“Oh god, Steve!”

Darcy forced herself to her feet, just barely keeping from falling down as she slowly walked to the door. There was a tugging on her arm, she realized then that she’d have to either take the I.V out or, unhook it from her bed so she could wheel the bag of saline with her. Considering she had seen enough blood, Darcy opted to fiddle with the I.V bag before shuffling out of her room.

The halls were empty of life aside from her. Pretty unusual, but then Darcy didn’t spend every waking moment on this floor so this could be a normal occurrence. She spent more time than she wanted peeking around, trying to find someone but more importantly trying to locate a certain Steve Rogers.

“Jarvis, where’s Steve?” Darcy asked, finally remembering that there was this awesome AI that could make this search infinitely easier.

“Steve Rogers is in surgery room 10, Miss Lewis,” Jarvis replied, a sense of relief came over her.

“Thanks!”

She quickly took off there; surprisingly she wasn’t far off from that room either. “Miss Lewis, if I could you might not-.”

Darcy stopped in front of the window that looked into the surgery room. Though she wasn’t smiling before she definitely wasn’t feeling that relief anymore either…at all…

Steve laid on the bed in the surgery room…

With a blanket covering his body, head to toe…

A strange wailing sound went off; it took her longer than it should to realize that it was coming from her own mouth. Her legs gave out and she took to the ground with the I.V stand falling over as well. Darcy felt a shake in her heart, like it was breaking into two. This isn’t happening, this can’t be happening! Her thoughts looped over and over as a sick feeling erupted in her gut.

If her stomach wasn’t already empty she would be throwing up instead of dry heaving.

Darcy cried out again, grasping at the floor in a desperate attempt to hold on to something, anything to keep her steady. Steady like Steve always managed to inspire in her. She stared down at her hands, tears dripping off her chin down to the floor.

This can’t be real!

Her stomach lurched and she was falling back on her butt.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this…

A hand touching her shoulder brought Darcy back to reality, her butt hurt from the prolonged sitting position she took on the hard, cold floor. Turning her head up she saw it was Natasha crouched down towards her level. Her eyes were red-rimmed, a sign that what she saw through that window was real. It was reality.

“Darcy,” she croaked out, her voice usually so strong sounded weak to Darcy’s ears. Another wail escaped her mouth and Natasha's arms were around her tightly, pulling her into the older woman’s chest.

She heard steps coming up to them but she clung even more to Natasha vaguely she felt like she was trying to merge into the other woman. Maybe if she could then she wouldn’t have to feel the terrible, aching pain welling up inside her. Maybe this wouldn’t be Darcy’s reality?

“Shit her stitches ripped open,” Tony’s voice sounded out, sounding as rough as Natasha's had. The arms around her helped pull her to her feet but her legs just couldn’t (wouldn’t) hold her weight.

Tony was behind her then, picking her up like she wasn’t a limp, heavy weight. His breath stunk of alcohol and as she took notice of his face she made out several days of stubble around his usually trimmed beard. He looked wrecked. Her face buried into his neck, only vaguely listening to Tony and Natasha talking.

“Why wasn’t anyone watching her,” Natasha hissed out beyond Tony’s left shoulder where Darcy was currently trying to burrow into.

“Jarvis alerted me as soon as she woke,” he replied back, juggling her a bit in his arms. She noticed that the other woman was pushing the I.V stand behind them.

“Then how did she get there before you did,” the red head pointed out. Tony choked at the accusation in her tone then Darcy felt his shoulder move in a shrug.

“Do you really wanna know?” Tony questioned.

There was just silence after that.

Darcy felt more tears come on. She pretty much soaked Tony’s shoulder in her tears but he didn’t say a word just continued to carry her back to the room she escaped in search of Steve.

Oh god, Steve…

More and more tears came. Hearing the ‘shhh’ noise brought her to the fact that Tony had stopped walking and was rocking her gently, breathing out the ‘shhh’ noise in her ear soothingly. Her arms tighten around his neck while his rocked her. For someone who was clearly inebriated he was rather steady on his feet right now.

“Tony,” Pepper Potts appeared at some point because that was her voice. Darcy’s eyes hurt from crying, more than likely swollen and red like Natasha’s and Tony’s. Possibly like Pepper’s if the shakiness in her voice when saying ‘Tony’ was any indication. They were all broken.

So very, very broken…

Apparently Tony’s rocking and soothing put her to sleep because Darcy woke up back in the same room, this time she wasn’t alone. Natasha sat in the chair in the corner by the window, her eyes were closed she noticed after putting her glasses on again. The gleam of a tear trail on her cheek told her the woman had been crying earlier.

It took a lot of strength Darcy didn’t realize she had to not cry at just looking at the Black Widow with tear stains on her face.

“He cared about you a lot, did you know that?” Darcy blinked slowly, her eyes connected with Natasha’s as she gazed back to her.

“He cared about all of us,” Darcy said back, her throat felt terribly raw probably from all the wailing she had done earlier, not to mention her throat was dry as well. Natasha sat up straight, wiping the back of her hand on her cheek to hide the evidence of her weakness. She sat closer to the edge of the chair, dropping her hands into her lap as she shook her head to Darcy.

“Yes, but he had a soft spot for you personally. Do you have any idea how many times I nagged him to ask you out?” Natasha laughed softly, her eyes directed down towards the floor as she spoke on, “So many times that he wouldn’t talk to me for a week once.”

“Why didn’t he?” Darcy found herself asking, her voice came out a little clearer than the first time she spoke. She couldn’t understand why Natasha was bringing this up, especially right now but maybe she just needed to get this information off her chest. Darcy had always had a feeling that Steve harbored a crush on her.

She definitely did on him.

“I think he was afraid…afraid to lose someone he cared deeply about like…Peggy…afraid to want something for himself. He was a selfless idiot,” Natasha declared evenly, finally looking back at Darcy. She couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“That he was…”…

\--------------------------

The next few days were numbing for Darcy. Jane came back early from a conference to be there for her and Thor came back from Asgard too. It felt like the days barely existed after she woke, passing by so fast she barely took notice. Even the funeral for Steve Rogers went by in a blur for her.

It was afterwards that she started suffering from insomnia.

Darcy would lie awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling trying in vain to fall asleep. Nothing would help, nothing would alleviate it. Bruce had her cycle through many types of medicine before Thor took it upon himself to bring a remedy from Asgard.

She was sitting on the couch in her living room when he knocked on the door. She called to Jarvis, allowing Thor to enter the room as she sat there. He walked over and took a seat across from her on the chair, coffee table between them. He regarded her silently, letting his eyes rove over her being carefully as though trying to make sure she was okay.

“Hey Thor,” Darcy finally spoke, trying to smile but grimacing instead. He sighed in response first then greeted back, “Hello Darcy, how do you fair?”

“Terribly,” Darcy answered, slouching slightly. She hadn’t slept well for the last three days since they buried Steve. A clench in her chest made her sigh sadly, any thoughts of him resulted in some type of pain be it emotional, mental or physical.

“Aye…” Thor acknowledged his frown so deeply set in his face that she feared it would be permanent. “I may have found something that could help.”  

“Magic Asgardian sleeping pills?” Darcy asked, finding that a bit amusing just not enough to smile like she thought she would normally do. It has gotten to the point that she doesn’t even remember how to be herself, how to be normal Darcy.

Did normal Darcy really even exist? If she did then not anymore…

“Darcy, this liquid will help you sleep but you mustn’t take more than a few sips at a time,” Thor instructed, producing a bottle with a cork at the top. The liquid looked clear like water. “One sip, a spoonful if you must to relax the mind,” he then held up two fingers, “two spoonfuls to put you to sleep.”

“Okay.” Darcy went to reach over to take the bottle but Thor pulled back, keeping it out of her reach. She quirked an eyebrow at his reluctance.

“Do not exceed two sips. A third will result in an eternal slumber, one that which you will not wake from…ever…” she gulped at the implication of his words. It seemed kind of dangerous to have something like that, but then if someone was desperate enough such as she was does it really matter?

“Two sips, spoonfuls and no more. Gotcha big guy,” Darcy repeated back gaining a nod from Thor. It was only then that he relinquished his hold of the bottle to let her investigate it further. Her eyes roved over the bottle, it had no writing on it like his very specific instructions or even a label. She was almost fearful to ask how he had obtained it, usually when something didn’t have a label and this is even more so when coming from Asgard that meant it was obtained illegally.

“Please adhere to my warning, Darcy. I claim you as my sister, I do not want to lose another person I care about,” Thor’s voice sounded slightly choked. She looked up to see his eyes glossy, but no tears came.

“Oh Thor,” Darcy forced herself to get up, setting the bottle on the coffee chair before wrapping her arms around his head. His arms came around her back, pulling her down into his lap where they held each other for a few minutes. Thor was always a comforting presence.

Once he was certain that she understood the instructions and repeated them again only then did he take his leave. Darcy waved bye to him from her door before closing it and leaning heavily against the sturdy wood. A sigh escaped her lips, shoulders sagging down like the weight of the world was upon them.

It sure as hell felt like it.

She spent the day glancing at the bottle while watching t.v, glancing at the bottle while cooking lunch and dinner, glancing at the bottle while walking to the bathroom, and glancing at the bottle before she went to change into some sleeping clothes.

Darcy found herself standing there, contemplating the bottle of sleeping liquid. Her fingers wrung the end of her tank top, she wasn’t sure if she should bother. She was afraid of sleeping if she were to be truly honest. Afraid of letting her subconscious go, her meticulous control of her thoughts and memories out of her hands to go looping in her mind continuously; she wasn’t sure she could handle that.

It scared the hell out of her.

But she needed sleep so badly she was sure she was starting to hallucinate.

“Just do it Darcy,” she mumbled out, gripping her hands tightly into balls before snatching the bottle from the coffee table. She went to the kitchen to grab a spoon then walked to her bedroom where she sat on the edge of her bed, trepidation running through her veins.

Darcy managed to pop the cork with her thumb; luckily it wasn’t tightly sealed like a wine bottle. She set aside the cork then measured out a small amount of the clear liquid onto the spoon. Her hands shook slightly as she did. Experimentally she sniffed the liquid in the spoon to find that there was no distinguishable smell.

“Well…bottoms up.”

With that she brought the spoon to her lips, sipping the liquid in her mouth and down her throat. It tasted god-awful! She choked on the small amount that went down her throat, clapping her hand on her chest while sticking out her tongue in distaste.

After a moment the sense of relaxation came over her causing an all body slump. She felt better already, but not exactly tired so even though she’d rather not taste that awful stuff again she took another careful measurement and quickly slipped it in, grimacing at the taste. Darcy fell back on the bed almost immediately, just barely managing to bring her feet up and right herself on a pillow before she felt tired. She dropped the spoon to the ground as her eyes crew immensely heavy. Thor wasn’t kidding about the two sips to help her sleep, that stuff was potent.

Her last thought was an image of Steve smiling at her before sleep over took her…

\----------------

“Anybody ever tell you that you snore…loudly I might add.”

Darcy jumped awake looking around herself before her eyes landed on someone lying across from her on the bed. Quickly she reached over to turn on the lamp on the night stand illuminating the room in a soft, yellow glow. Squinting from the sudden brightness of lighting, Darcy turned back over to see…a dead man.

Steve Rogers to be exact.

“Steve!” Darcy yelled out, pulling back from him in utter surprise. He smiled warmly in response. His hair was a little messy and he was wearing his Captain America uniform, but it was clean like it usually looked before a mission. “Yep, that’s my name,” he quipped good naturedly, waving a hand from his face down to his feet as though to prove to her that he was there and that he was Steve.

“But you’re dead!” She couldn’t help but screech. Both of them flinched at the shrillness of her voice and she offered an apologetic smile.

“Well clearly I’m not if I’m right here,” Steve commented drily, raising an eyebrow at her.

“There’s no way,” Darcy stated, shaking her head as tears started to come to her eyes, “we just put you in the ground three days ago, Steve. You’re dead…”

His forehead wrinkled in a frown as he lifted his hand to touch her face, his thumb swiping away a rolling tear as he cupped her face.

“Darcy, if I’m dead then how am I touching you right now?” She pulled back, instantly missing the fullness his touch that felt so real. The calluses on his fingers brushed delightedly against her cheek and jaw as he dropped his hand back to the bed.

“I know what I saw,” she stated once more though honestly she didn’t want too. Seeing him there lying on her bed, gazing at her with this softness in his eyes; the same softness that always entered his eyes when he looked at her especially when he thought she didn’t notice it made the last few days feel like nothing at all. Her heart started to race a little, cheeks slowly warming as she looked back at him. She wanted this to be true, to be real but it wasn’t and that probably hurt more. She’d give anything to bring him back.

Steve pursed his lips in thought, looking away from her eyes to the ceiling before snapping his fingers.

“I got it! In my locker there’s a gift for you, I got it on a past mission but I just…I just didn’t have the guts to give it to you. Tell Nat, she’ll know what I’m talking about. That should prove to you I’m still alive,” Steve smiled brightly at her, like that was all it took. Darcy wrinkled her nose and sighed.

“What if I find nothing? They’ve had to have cleaned your locker out by now.”

“You’re names on it, Darcy. If they had you would’ve had it already, Doll.”

Darcy felt an immense blush over take her cheeks at the term of endearment. He rarely had called her that when alive, it would slip out when he wasn’t thinking and it was made even more obvious because he would immediately stutter and stumble over his words then hastily exit the vicinity. A soft smile came to her lips then her hand moved of its own accord, brushing through his soft hair. It felt so real. Steve closed his eyes at the feeling, turning his head into her hand to run his nose along her wrist. A shiver at the feeling raced down her arm.

“You’ve gotta do something else for me, Doll,” Steve breathed out, air puffing along her arm and sending another shiver down her spine. “Anything,” Darcy offered.

He opened his blue eyes to gaze at her so lovingly it almost hurt physically. “You gotta wake up…”

“What?”…

Darcy snorted loudly, shooting up abruptly to full wakefulness. She blinked several times, feeling sweat cling to her skin and hair. She felt clammy and slightly cold from sweating so much. Her eyes then looked towards her right only to see it empty. A sigh escaped her; she hadn’t realized she was holding her breath hoping upon hope that Steve would be lying there, smiling.

Her heart thumped painfully in her chest and tears welled up in her eyes. She collapsed back on the bed, unseeingly staring at the ceiling before she remembered what he had said to her.

_“In my locker there’s a gift for you…”_

Darcy wondered how true that statement was. She clearly dreamed Steve up, she knew he wasn’t alive. They unfortunately did an open casket funeral so she had the misfortune of seeing the proof in the pudding three days ago. He was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing…

She never fell back to sleep after that and she feared of overdosing if she tried more of the awful sleeping potion so Darcy picked up around her room and showered when it was early morning. Once it was acceptable timing to bother the resident spider she made her way towards Natasha’s room, figuring she’d see her first in case they really had cleaned out Steve’s locker then Nat would know out of anyone. Plus if that were the case she might actually have the gift with her, if possible.

If it wasn’t actually a dream…

“Darcy, still having trouble sleeping?” Natasha greeted her as she pulled the door to her room open further, allowing her to enter at her will.

“I did manage to get some sleep last night,” Darcy answered, walking pass the widow to make herself comfortable at her kitchen table. Without asking Natasha poured her a cup of coffee, loading it with sugar and milk, “A little coffee with your milk and sugar?” she asked jokingly before they both froze.

Steve use to say that to Darcy all the time…

“Yeah, you know how it is,” Darcy shrugged, letting the comment slide though that didn’t stop the little tear in her heart, “I need both caffeine and a sugar high to make it through the day.” That was how she always responded back too.

Natasha gave her an uneasy smile before bringing over her mug and joining her at the table. Darcy took a sip of the coffee, feeling the warmth run smoothly down her throat and feeling so glad to have Natasha as a friend. Jane was her best friend, not doubts about it, but Natasha was definitely and fastly becoming a second best friend for her. Though in the beginning Darcy was sort of afraid of her, what with her reputation and all, but all it took was witnessing her nag Steve about finding a date to make her realize that the woman known as Black Widow was just that; a woman. She was better at hiding her feelings, and sure she could choke the life out of someone with just her thighs, but Natasha was just a human, woman (she’s pretty sure anyways) and once she realized that Darcy started seeking her out.

Or for lack of a better word, she bugged the hell out of her.

Luckily Natasha took kindly to Darcy and a tentative friendship abound and now she was one of the people the brunette cherished most.

“Something on your mind?” Natasha asked after a minute of silence enveloped them. Darcy nibbled on her bottom lip then nodded.

“Yeah, I ah…I had a dream about Steve last night,” she started out, glancing between staring at the wooden table her fingers sat upon and the older woman across said table. Natasha frowned, taking a sip of her own coffee yet waited for Darcy to continue. “It felt…incredibly real…anyway he mentioned that he had a gift for me in his locker, from a past mission and that you’d know about it.”

Darcy looked up to see Natasha still frowning; the only indication that she heard the brunette’s words was the way she had a tight grip around her mug. Any tighter and Darcy was sure the mug would shatter. “Natasha?”

“Steve did get you something, it was from New Mexico. He saw it and instantly thought of you, how the incident with Thor allowed him to meet you…” Her eyebrows knitted closely together in thought before she gazed deeply at Darcy. “But how did you know about that?”

She shrugged helplessly, her heart pounding so loudly in her chest. This couldn’t be real! Was she really dreaming about Steve? Or was it something else…something other worldly…

“Have they cleaned Steve’s locker out yet?” Darcy inquired, taking a quick gulp of coffee to help ease her nerves.

“Unless Tony has, which I highly doubt then everything should still be in there,” the red head commented, taking a rather big gulp of her own coffee. She seemed just as unsettled about the situation as Darcy was.

“Could we go check?” She tried not to be too hopeful, clamping her lips tightly together. Natasha looked her over before nodding almost reluctantly.

“I don’t see why not…” she said slowly, almost like she was regretting those words as she spoke them. She then got up from the table commenting about getting some clothes on before leaving Darcy to her coffee for a few minutes.

Darcy had a feeling that Natasha was worrying about her, well more than before especially what with that dream and the gift. She was getting the sense that the older woman thought she wasn’t getting the closure she needed. Maybe getting this alleged gift though could help her find the closure she truly needs? She won’t know till they do it.

The trip down to the locker room that was attached to the gym that everyone trained in time-to-time was quiet. Darcy wasn’t sure what to say at the moment, she was more nervous about checking Steve’s locker than what was going through Natasha’s head. They both came to a stop in front of the locker, his name Rogers, S. still attached to it. She noticed that it wasn’t locked like she thought it would be figures that Steve trusted his teammates to the point that he wouldn’t lock his locker.

Made perfect Steve sense.

Trepidation erupted over her as she reached for the pull lever that would unlock it and open the metal door. Darcy glanced back at Natasha who had her arms crossed over her chest, waiting patiently for her. Gulping she turned back around and pulled the lever down, opening the locker easily. Inside there was a few clean white shirts, folded meticulously standard military style from the looks of it, a pair of sneakers on the floor of the tall locker, a jacket hanging on the back of the locker door and a few other miscellaneous items stored here and there, but no known gift.

Darcy felt her shoulders sag in disappointment. Natasha looked over her shoulder to peer inside; she looked rather disappointed as well but didn’t say anything. Sighing she went to close the locker only for the jacket to come off the hook landing solidly on the floor by Darcy’s feet. Hearing a clatter she reached down, picking up the jacket that was dark blue, a favorite of Steve’s to wear often and patted the pockets to feel a small box in one of them. A smile slowly came to her lips as she pulled out a small box from one of the pockets.

She folded the jacket over her arm, not really wanting to put it back in the locker. Actually she kind of wanted to keep it for herself. She knew it was too big for her, but it belonged to Steve and it even smelled like him too. Half of her wanted to bury her nose within the fabric but that was a little too creepy, well doing it in front of Natasha would be creepy.

“Open the box, Darcy,” Natasha urged, a little smile on her lips. A feeling of excitement overcame her as she pulled the neatly tied boxes’ string, allowing it to fall to the ground before opening the top.

Inside was a keychain, it said, “Come out to see the aliens! And I’m not just talking about me!” Darcy snorted a laugh at the keychain, on the other side said New Mexico with a traditional picture of the desert and the state flower. A warmth in her heart spread out to her limbs making her feel loose and fuzzy. She looked up to Natasha who was smiling more softly, gazing down at the key chain.

“I miss him,” she mumbled after looking back down at the keychain. She heard a sigh then, “I know…so do I…”…

Darcy spent the rest of the day back at her apartment, cuddled up in the jacket that belonged to Steve and tightly holding the keychain in her hand. Natasha gave her a calculating look when Darcy walked out of the locker room with the jacket still on her arm, but she didn’t say anything to object the taking of Steve’s personal item so she went with it.

It still smelled strongly of him, whatever deodorant he wore all the time and just a unique smell that was all his own. She couldn’t help but bring the sleeve up every few minutes to inhale the scent some more. Her eyes would go over the keychain quite a few times, reading the funny saying on one side lovingly. Steve knew her so well…that thought only made her even more sad for what they missed out on. They could have had something great together, something amazing but…it just didn’t seem meant to be and that made everything she ate after that thought taste sour.

Jane stopped by to check in on her, giving Darcy the time off from working in the lab to grieve and heal up. She greatly appreciated it, and really with her insomnia issues she wasn’t going to be of much help anyway. It didn’t take long for her best friend to comment on the jacket either.

“So…whose jacket does that belong too?” Jane said it slowly, kind of the same way Natasha had answered her question earlier that morning. It sort of bugged her.

“Steve’s, that’s where I found the gift,” Darcy shrugged. Jane bit her lip before nodding.

“No, I get that. What I don’t get is why you kept his jacket?” The tone sent a little prickle of irritation down her spine. She only shrugged again; if nothing else her nonchalance would irritate her best friend right back. “Darcy.”

“What Jane? There’s no law against me keeping it. It’s my form of closure okay…” Darcy grumbled out at the end, tugging the sleeves over her hands while crossing her arms. Jane sighed.

“Fine, if that helps you then alright. It just comes off…strange is all.” She snorted.

“Really Jane? You wanna go there on the strange factor?” Her question gained a glare from Jane, but also shut the woman down from questioning her further.

“Alright, alright point taken. Anyway, Thor wants to know if the sleeping aid he got you from Asgard worked well? Any other issues aside from dreaming about Steve?” The questions floated around in Darcy’s mind for a moment before she shook her head.

“No, but don’t you think it was weird that the Steve in my dream told me about the gift? Natasha said she was the only one to know about it…” the whole thing bugged the hell out of her.

Jane shrugged. “Are you sure you dreamed it up, or did you subconsciously remember that Steve mentioned it to you before hand? I mean…that’s the only logical explanation.”

True, Darcy thought, but that didn’t change the strangeness factor of the situation. She decided to shelf it for now, and move on to more easy going topics with her best friend. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying because in all honesty Darcy was so very tired of crying. She wanted to move on from this horrible period in her life, but…she just couldn’t get there.

Jane ate lunch with her and they discussed some of the things going on in the lab, her best friend left some papers with her to transcribe into her laptop; a little work to keep her mind off of sadder things. That and Jane really needed Darcy to do something for her, transcribing her chicken scratch was the least she could do. She waved her best friend off, promising to do some work before trying to sleep that night.

She ended up doing all of it within two hours. Darcy sighed as she saved the documents and sent a copy to Jane’s email as per normal protocol. Now she had nothing else to do. She glanced over at the clock to see it was only five in the afternoon. Her eyes felt strained from staring at the computer screen, but also from her lack of sleep.

Six hours of sleep for the last four days wasn’t a good thing.

She looked over to her bedroom, thinking about the bottle of sleeping potion sitting there on her nightstand. Thoughts of Steve came to mind as she stared at the open door. Darcy hadn’t wanted to linger too much on the strangeness of her dream, but now with nothing to keep her mind occupied she thought about it. How did she know about the gift? Surely she would have remembered that Steve mentioned it before his…death…

Darcy was sure that she’d remember something like that because normally she would hound any of her friends including Steve to give her the gift pronto! Thinking back to the many, yet short interactions between them she couldn’t remember any time he’d mentioned a gift, at all.

So how did she know?

Her brain throbbed painfully with an on setting headache. Darcy groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose between her index and thumb. She really needed sleep. Glancing at the kitchen she knew forcing herself to eat wouldn’t do her any good.

Sighing, Darcy made her way to her bedroom quickly changing into some pajama shorts and tank top adding Steve’s jacket as an afterthought before looking at the bottle. She picked up the forgotten spoon on her floor, rubbing it clean on her tank before popping the cork and pouring the first spoonful.

Much like normal medicine she got sort of use to the nasty flavor. Darcy poured for the second and stared at the spoon in her hand thoughtfully. Would she dream of Steve again? Maybe the whole thing was a fluke? Merely a coincidence that Steve in her dream told her about a gift and it just so happened that he actually had a gift for her.

That had to be it.

Darcy wasn’t so sure she could handle it otherwise.

She quickly gulped down the second spoonful, dropping the spoon on her nightstand this time and hastily settling herself on her bed as exhaustion took over her. Darcy felt like she had closed her eyes when a noise in her kitchen woke her up.

She sat up quickly, glancing at the alarm clock beside her to see it was ten at night. Only five hours of sleep…better than before. Another noise alerted her to what woke her. Darcy felt a jolt of fear in her gut before she forced it away. It could very well be Clint or Natasha; they both liked entering her apartment in the tower without her permission. It was as though they wanted to assure themselves they were still capable of doing it.

Rest assured, Darcy had told them, they were still capable of doing it.

She got up, heading out of her room to see the dark silhouette of a muscular man leaning against the counter by her fridge. Darcy rolled her eyes as she realized Clint has made his happy way into her apartment as per usual. She took notice of the cereal box on the counter and the fact that she could hear him eating out of a bowl.

“You know common courtesy says you should ask before you start eating,” Darcy commented with a slight tone of annoyance as she flicked on the light to better see Clint with.

“I figured you wouldn’t really mind,” Clint did not reply back because it wasn’t him.

Standing there still in his uniform like before was Steve, bowl of honey nut cheerios in hand with a spoon coming up to his mouth. Darcy felt her jaw drop in shock, hand accidently flicking her light off before she quickly flicked it up to see his jaw moving and crunching on the cereal.

“Steve,” Darcy gasped back out, stepping away from the wall to stand at the beginning of her kitchen. He smiled then swallowed.

“Darcy,” he said back, raising his eyebrows at her. “Did you get my gift?”

She nodded quickly, her heart pounded much like before. She wanted to touch him like before but held herself back. “Yes, the keychain…I really like it,” Darcy smiled softly, looking down at her feet as she brushed her hand over her arm.

“Good, good…any reason you’re wearing my jacket?” He suddenly asked causing a bright, red blush to bloom on Darcy’s cheeks.

“Oh uh…” she wasn’t sure what she could say that wouldn’t be even more embarrassing and creepy. She looked up from under her lashes to see him staring at her, the corners of his mouth were turned up in a smile but there was a heat in his eyes. A flutter in her gut responded to that heat.

“It looks good on you,” he managed to breath out, setting aside his bowl of cereal before walking up to her.

Darcy lifted her head up to keep eye contact with him, had he always been this tall? Steve reached up with both hands tugging on the collar of his jacket, a thumb brushing lightly on her collarbone. Before she could stop Darcy launched herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his frame. He quickly wrapped his around her shoulders, one hand coming up to curl into her hair at the back of her head.

“I don’t want this to be a dream,” Darcy spat out, her hands having issues finding purchase on his uniform, it was just so tight and clung to his body like a second skin. She felt his chin dip down to touch the top of her head.

“How sure are you that this is a dream?” Steve asked as his hand not in her hair dropped to her lower back, caressing it softly. Tears burned her eyes.

“Because it is a dream and you’re not here anymore.”

Why must she be tormented by him? Why couldn’t this be real?

“I thought telling you where that gift was would convince you that I am still alive,” he stated matter-of-factly, pulling back to lift her chin up with a finger so she was looking at him. “Please don’t cry.”

“You only show up after I’ve taken that sleeping potion Thor gave me. How else am I suppose to believe this is a dream and not real?” Steve frowned, once more wiping the trail of tears off of one cheek then the other.

“Sleeping potion? Are you sure that’s safe? Does Thor even know what’s in it?” The concern tightly woven in his voice warmed her core, that was so Steve. Darcy shook her head, indicating that she wasn’t sure that Thor even knew what was in that stuff. Steve’s frown deepen.

“Ever since the funeral I haven’t been able to sleep well. It’s safe enough, anyway I need better proof than just a gift,” Darcy bit her lip, hoping her demand didn’t put Steve off. He stared down at her thoughtfully.

“Hmm…how about this?” Steve pulled back from Darcy, turning around and picking something up from the floor. Lighting gleamed off the metal as he produced his shield, the very one that was buried with him. It was actually Tony’s decision to bury the shield with Steve, he believed there could only be one Captain America; Steve Rogers was it.

“Holy crap, your shield…” Darcy gasped, reaching out a hand to rub against the smooth surface. Steve smiled as he watched her appreciate it.

“Keep it, that should prove to you I’m real,” Steve insisted, gently setting the shield in her arms. It was slightly heavy, but not nearly as heavy as she had always thought. Strangely it felt so right being in her arms. “Oh, one more thing,” he added lifting a hand to brush some of her hair behind her left ear, fingers grazing the edge of her jaw, “you gotta wake up, Darcy…”

Darcy gasped loudly, once more shooting up to a sitting position in her bed, her chest once more puffing out air like no tomorrow. She wiped blindly at her hair to get it out of her face, setting her hand down only for it to touch something that hadn’t been there before. She turned to her right, lighting slowly coming in from the window near her bed to see it reflected off metal.

“No way!” Darcy yelled out, lifting Steve’s shield in utter surprise. He is alive! “I gotta talk to Jane!”…

\------------------

“Darcy!” Jane yelled out, jumping when the door to the lab burst open revealing her brunette assistant. Darcy was breathing hard, still wearing the clothes she slept in including Steve’s jacket.

“Jane! I have proof that Steve’s still alive!” Darcy called out, shoving the shield at Jane who took it with a raised eyebrow. “His shield, I found it in my bed!” Darcy explained her eyes wide and a smile just edging on her lips.

“Uh Darcy…” Jane started out, looking down at the shield.

“What?! Look at it Jane!”

“That’s the problem, I am…Darcy…this isn’t Steve’s shield, it’s a pizza pan…” Darcy blinked rapidly before looking down at the shield…only it wasn’t Steve’s shield.

“Wait, but…I swear it was his shield! He gave it to me last night! Jane!” Her voice got louder and louder, but the more she stared at the circular pan the more she realized how crazy she sounded. Her eyes watered slightly before they connected with Jane’s that looked extremely worried.

Jane quickly set the pan down on her desk then turned to Darcy with tired, sad eyes. “Look, I know it’s been hard on you since Steve passed…I know you blame yourself for what happened but…Darcy, he’s gone and he’s not coming back…honey, you need to accept that.”

Tears burst forth from her eyes and immediately she was consumed by Jane’s arms, rocking her slightly as she hiccupped. Her eyes looked over to the pizza pan, feeling more tears blur her vision. How the hell had that happened? It didn’t make any sense! Darcy was so sure that it was Steve’s shield; it was in bed with her for fuck’s sake!

“Jane, I think I’m losing it,” Darcy admitted in a tiny voice, clutching at the small woman tightly. Jane caressed the back of her head and continued to rock her.

“It’s gonna be alright, Darcy. I promise you,” Jane stated sadly. Darcy wasn’t so sure anymore. “Let’s go up to the communal kitchen and get some coffee,” she then offered, rubbing a hand on the back of Darcy’s head.

“Okay.”

Up in the communal kitchen they found Clint sitting at the table fiddling with his bow, coffee mug empty by him. He greeted them as they entered the room, his eyes zeroing in on Darcy’s red face. He raised an eyebrow in question but she avoided looking at him more by grabbing some milk from the fridge as Jane poured them both a mug of coffee.

“Everything okay?” Clint finally asked, setting aside his bow to watch both women, particularly Darcy as she could feel the burn of his gaze.

“As okay as it can be these days,” Jane answered, glancing at Clint to give him a worried look as she directed her eyes to Darcy. The brunette held back a scoff; her best friend was being rather obvious.

“And you, Darcy?” He asked next. She shrugged her shoulders, doctoring her coffee the way she liked it to keep from answering.

“Greetings friends!” Bellowed Thor as he entered the room, Natasha not far behind him. Darcy smiled at both of them though really it came out more like a grimace than anything else. Of course the red head noticed and frowned at the display, even more so when she took in Darcy’s attire.

“How does your sleep fair, Darcy?” Thor asked kindly, coming up to kiss Jane on the cheek in greeting. There was an ache in her heart at the display of affection, but she hid it quickly from them. She shrugged once more, taking a sip of her coffee.

“I had a full night’s sleep last night,” she offered out gaining a board grin from Thor as he came over to give her a kiss on her cheek as well.

“Wonderful! You have had me worrying dear Darcy,” he said back, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

“Actually I’ve been meaning to ask you about that Thor, where exactly did you get that stuff and what are the side effects?” Jane quickly inquired, eyeing Darcy who couldn’t help but send a glare her way. She really didn’t want this discussed out in the open like that.

“I went to a fellow of Lady Sif’s. He is well versed in magic and made the aid as per my request. As for side effects, there are not many that has been discussed before,” Thor turned to look Darcy over. “Should I be worried?”

“She’s just having very realistic dreams from the stuff and it’s got me worried,” Jane stated, ignoring the even bigger glare Darcy sent her way.

“She had another dream about Steve?” Natasha asked next, leaning against the counter to look between all of them. Darcy sighed.

“It was nothing,” she tried but Jane talked over her. “She came rushing into my lab with a pizza pan and stating it was Steve’s shield.” Clint looked at her with sad eyes as Natasha frowned even more. Thor turned completely to Darcy, “Is this true?”

“Yes! Okay, I had a dream that Steve gave me his shield so it would prove to me that he was alive! I swear it was his shield when I woke up though!” Darcy gestured a little wildly almost slapping Thor in the face.

“Darcy,” Natasha started out, uncrossing her arms.

“No! Don’t ‘Darcy’ me! I know what I saw,” her voice trailed off from there as she took in everyone’s’ faces. They all varied between concern, worry and fear. Her throat felt extremely tight and she felt a little wobble in chest as they all stared at her.

“Darcy maybe we need to have you talk with a therapist,” Clint commented his brow creased as he watched her carefully as though waiting for her to…to go crazy. Darcy rubbed a hand through her hair, wincing when her fingers got caught in a tangle.

“This isn’t normal behavior for you. I know you’re experiencing survivor’s guilt, but if you are starting to get delusional then you need to see someone,” Natasha remarked, sharing a look with Clint.

“But what if there was a possibility that Steve is still alive?! Another universe or something?” She probably shouldn’t have said that considering the looks among her friends. Her hand came down from her hair to rub down her face, wiping away a bead of sweat.

“Darcy, please-,” Jane tried as she was cut off. “-I just need to relax! I don’t need everyone breathing down my goddamn neck and looking at me like I’m crazy!” Darcy stressed out loud.

“You’re screwier than my dear Dad was, and trust me he was off his rocker,” quipped Tony as he made his presence known to everyone. It was the first time they had all seen him since the funeral.

Everything got silent after that before Thor wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders. “I think we all have had a very trying few days,” Thor announced giving Darcy’s shoulder another squeeze. “I was thinking that maybe my Lady and Darcy would accompany me back to Asgard in a few days time.”

Jane swiftly nodded her agreement. “That would be good, Darcy you’ve never been before and I think staying here…it just isn’t good for your mental health.”

Everyone seemed to agree with that statement and honestly Darcy agreed as well. Clearly she was starting to lose her mind and really maybe time away from the tower, away from Earth would do her some good.

“Okay, sounds good to me,” Darcy declared and it was like there was a collective sigh of relief among them.

For the rest of the day Darcy couldn’t have any time alone after all that. It was like they all agreed that she couldn’t be left to her own devises till they were to depart from Earth and that wasn’t gonna happen for another few days. Thor also took back the bottle of sleeping potion, hoping that maybe after two days of sleep she’d be good to try sleeping on her own.

That night found her staring up at the ceiling exhausted yet not tired enough to fall asleep. She tossed and turned constantly just not able to find a good position to sleep and it was starting to bring her to tears. It was nearing one in the morning when Thor appeared at her door, bottle in hand.

“The Jarvis had woken me with concerns for you, Darcy,” Thor said in way of greeting. She sat up, using the sleeve of Steve’s jacket to wipe away some frustrated tears.

“I’m sorry Thor, I just can’t get to sleep,” she apologized but he shook his head.

“As long as you know that the Steven you see in your dreams is not real then I will allow you to use the sleeping aid,” he instructed, waiting for her to agree before handing the bottle over.

“Okay, right. Steve is not alive, in my dreams he is just a figment of my imagination,” Darcy professed. “I do know that, it’s just so real Thor…”

“I should have warned that this liquid has that side effect,” Thor looked disappointed in himself as he handed over the bottle. “Please Darcy, it is not real.”

It didn’t take her long to toss back two spoonfuls and allow sleep to take her after Thor left her apartment. The second her head hit the pillow a feeling of extreme warmth closed around her, it was almost suffocating really. Darcy tried moving around when she felt whatever it was that was coiled around her tighten some. “Stop moving.”

“Steve?” Darcy breathed his name, opening her eyes to look over her shoulder. His face was right there, eyes closed and any lines in his face smoothed out. One blue eye popped open to look at her then he yawned loudly his hands pulled her closer to his chest, tangling their legs together as well.

It felt amazing to be curled up with him.

“Doll,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to her brow.

“I wish this was real, Steve I really do,” Darcy confessed somehow managing to turn around in his arms to face him. Steve blinked somewhat in confusion.

“This is real, Darcy.”

“No, it’s not.”

“I’m tired of trying to prove this to you. What more can I do?” Steve asked in such a desperate tone. It tore at her heart especially the expression of pain that entered his face.

“Steve…”

Suddenly he sat up, slightly leaning over her and bringing his right hand to push away her hair. “Maybe one of these nights you’ll believe me.”

Darcy went to respond but nothing came out when his lips were unexpectedly pressed to hers. They pushed against her lips insistently leaving her no option but to respond back. It was incredible, this kiss. She wished they had gotten a chance to do this before he died, she wondered if it would feel exactly like it did now. Darcy reached up to push her hand through Steve’s hair, scratching her nails on his scalp as they continued to kiss. Her bottom lip got caught in his teeth, giving a little tug before his tongue slipped in.

Their tongues brushed each other softly, slightly battling one another as the kiss quite quickly got intense. Steve leaned more over her, pressing his knee between her legs and pressed up against her core. Darcy shamelessly rubbed herself up and down his thigh as they attacked each other’s mouths. Her other hand pressed hard against his chest, trying in vain to feel the amazing abs she had secretly seen that one time he was changing outside the locker room, but damn his suit for being in the way. Steve moved his hand from her hair, tracing lightly down her jaw then neck before grasping a breast firmly giving a squeeze that caused Darcy to cry into his mouth.

His fingers nimbly plucked at the nipple that puckered up at his attention. Darcy pulled back from his lips harshly, breathing hard and rubbing herself up against his thigh faster.

“That’s my girl,” Steve mumbled at her jaw kissing it then moving down her neck where his mouth latched to a point just under her ear and hairline. Another gasping moan left her lips, the hand in his hair tugging roughly at him. She could feel his teeth biting at that spot; will most likely leave a mark. Too bad it wouldn’t be there when she woke up.

Darcy could feel herself getting closer and closer to peaking, the material of his uniform was just rough enough that when she grinded her clit she was getting little sparks of pleasure. She felt a bit of disappointment that she couldn’t get pass his damn uniform but Steve didn’t seem to mind all that much. Currently he had moved on from giving her one hell of a hickey to pulling her tank top down and taking her stiff nipple into his mouth.

The resulting bite brought Darcy closer to orgasm, it felt amazing. “Darcy, if you care about me the way I do about you then you have to do this for me,” Steve said as he pulled away from her breast, gazing heatedly into her own lustful eyes.

“Of course I care for you! I’d do anything for you Steve,” Darcy proclaimed breathlessly, her hand coming down to cup his cheek.

“Then please,” he said softly, bringing his mouth to her ear, “please wake up…”

“No!” Darcy shouted, flapping off the bed and onto the floor hard. Though her abdomen was mostly healed up it was still tender and that fall jarred it badly.

She groaned loudly, turning over to lie on her back as tears leaked from her eyes. Why did he have to ask her of that?! Why was Steve so desperately trying to wake her when all she wanted to do was be with him? Darcy turned onto her side to curl up into a ball, all she wanted was for Steve to be here, to hold her tightly and tell her that everything was gonna be alright. All she wanted was for him to be back!

Darcy spent the remainder of the early morning on the floor, crying into her knees. According to Jarvis she only had gotten two hours of sleep before she woke and she was feeling horrible cause of it too. Even the shower wasn’t doing it for her. As per their agreement she made her way to the communal kitchen to be around everyone for breakfast where she would spend the day with one of them. Upon getting into the kitchen though something felt terribly off. She looked around to see everyone there either eating or drinking coffee which wasn’t abnormal at all, nothing actually looked out of place really. Darcy pushed her glasses up to rub at her eyes as she made her way to the coffee machine.

“Did you get any sleep?” Jane asked tensely, clearly knowing that Darcy had gotten the potion to aid her. She merely shrugged her shoulders, keeping her back to everyone. She didn’t want to talk about it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Natasha asked, suddenly appearing beside her. Darcy blinked strangely at her as Nat repeated her question yet Clint’s voice came out of her mouth. “Uh…what?”

“I said are you okay?” Natasha said again this time with her normal voice. She nodded trying to will the strange look off her face as the red head eyed her suspiciously.

“You look unwell, kid,” Tony commented but it was Thor’s voice coming out of his mouth, she snorted her coffee at that, coughing violently with Natasha slapping her back.

“I didn’t-get much sleep,” Darcy coughed out, waving the widow off her as she tried to compose herself.

“I could give you an examination if you want, Darcy,” Bruce offered though she didn’t know how to answer that as he sat in the chair at the table but…he was fully hulked out. Darcy blinked rapidly, hoping that she was seriously dreaming right now. Tony turned to Hulk Bruce with a frown, “What more could you do for her that you haven’t already?” Hulk Bruce ran a hand through his hair then went on to talk about some other ways he could check her over, glancing at Darcy as she stared at him with very wide eyes. “Something wrong, Darcy?”

“Nope, nothing at all,” Darcy said quickly, downing the rest of her coffee though it scalded the inside of her throat all the way down to her stomach.

“How about you spend the day with me?” Clint mentioned though his voice was clearly Jane’s and that was really weird.

“You know what guys I think I just wanna try sleeping some more, my head is really starting to get to me,” Darcy finally announced slowly backing away from them before taking almost a blind run back to her room.

She slammed the door shut behind her, rubbing a hand over her face as she breathed out slowly. Okay she was seriously starting to lose it. No if, ands or buts about it. Darcy pushed off the door walking over to her couch to collapse on it, burrowing into the pillows there and trying to will sleep upon her.

She had no such luck.

“You wanna tell me what that was, or do I have to guess?” Natasha’s voice reached her ears and she truly hoped it was really her. Pulling up from the pillow she turned to see her sitting on the chair that Thor frequented often.

“My mind is starting to play tricks on me from lack of sleep,” Darcy whined, turning around onto her back with her hands landing on her belly.

“I figured since you kept looking at everyone like we’ve gone crazy.”

“Nope, it’s really just me,” she commented lightly, trying to find amusement within the situation. There really was none to be found though.

“Darcy, I know you don’t want to admit you need help but…you need help,” Natasha emphasized making it rather clear she didn’t want to hear any arguments from Darcy though really she wanted to protest. Talking to a shrink is the last thing she wanted to do, but even she had to admit she was starting to become rather the head case here.

“You’re right,” Darcy voiced out, turning away from Natasha to tuck her head between the pillow she laid on and back of the couch. “I don’t want to admit it.”

She heard the red head sigh deeply; exasperated at how childish Darcy was being yet she couldn’t bring herself to care about her attitude. She just wanted to sleep…damn she just wanted to dream of Steve.

“Please, we’ve already lost someone very important we can’t afford to lose another.” She felt a hand gently rub the back of her shoulder, offering some comfort before the brunette could make out the steps of her friend leaving her apartment, door shutting tight behind her.

Darcy sighed sadly, wrapping her arms around herself. She needed to get a goddamn grip, all she was doing was hurting herself and her friends, more so her friends. The team had done nothing but be there for her, support her through her recovery from the bullet wound among everything else while they too were grieving for their lost teammate, their leader and captain. Darcy suddenly felt immensely selfish as she thought about the fact that everyone was dealing with their grief in so many ways.

Natasha and Clint dealt with their emotions by working and closing off from everyone to assess themselves. Thor who wasn’t even here for the incident felt like if he had been there like he should have then maybe Steve would be alive, he sucked up as much of Jane’s time to relieve himself of his grief. Bruce also sucked himself into his work, avoiding feeling too strongly about anything in general actually. And finally Tony…he barricaded himself in his lab where they believe he tinkered and drank for most of the day before falling into a dreamless stupor.

Really she wasn’t the only one to feel like this, but…none of them felt like she did. Darcy rolled over on her back as she thought about everyone before closing her eyes. She laid there in a mindless state for so long she thought for a moment she had fallen asleep but it was to no avail.

Another sigh left her and she sat up, dragging her legs as she made her way to her room to grab her sleeping aid then headed back to the couch. She didn’t feel much up for sleeping on the bed right now. She measured out a spoonful to help relax her mind; her muscles slacken as the nasty tasting liquid helped to loosen up everything around her. Darcy stretched like a cat, raising her arms high above her head and legs out towards the coffee table. She felt better but still she wanted to sleep so without further pause she threw back another spoonful allowing her body to slump down then land on her side.

“I’m so sorry…it’s all my fault.”

Darcy blinked rapidly, trying to will away the sleepiness in her eyes as she heard the heartbroken words spoken above her. She realized after a moment that her head was in someone’s lap, a hand brushing lightly through her hair; so very gently.

“I wish I could go back…change how things happened. Damn, Darcy you deserved better than this,” Steve said quietly, barely above a whisper as he continued to pat her hair. Darcy reached out with her hand to grab his knee, giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

“Mistakes happen,” she mumbled back, feeling him pause in his ministrations as though realizing she was awake. A second later he continued.

“I shouldn’t have turned my back on those men…should have taken you out of there as fast as I could…” Darcy flinched when she felt a drop of water land on her cheek. She forced Steve to stop touching her as she turned in his lap to face him better.

From there she could see that he was crying, tears slowly leaking out of his eyes. Another drop landed on her nose, sliding down into the corner of her own eye. “Steve,” she whispered reaching up to cup his strong jaw. There was agony in his eyes; he was just as tortured by their mistake as she was. “Don’t cry…”

“I promise you, Darcy…I promise you that everything will be alright…” Steve bent down to brush a kiss on her forehead.

Darcy felt a little perplexed by his words, how could he keep a promise when he was already dead?

“Steve, I don’t understand.”

“Just…damnnit, Darcy please just wake up…”

One blink and she was staring at her ceiling in the living room, right back on her couch with a horrible kink in her neck. The lighting was more faded, clearly it was late afternoon so she had slept a good solid six hours at the most. She didn’t move from her uncomfortable position, she barely breathed.

“Why do you want me to wake up? If I never wake up I could be with you forever…” her mumbled words carried around her with no response back.

Her life felt wilted like a flower, struggling to survive but ultimately failing regardless. No matter how deep the soil is, or how much water and sunlight she got…Darcy was destine to fade away, shrivel up into a mere shadow of her former self. Maybe, with therapy she could eventually get back to where she was; eventually move on with her life and put this horrible section of her life away.

But she didn’t want too.

Darcy wasn’t into romanticizing depression but right then and there she relished in the feeling of emptiness inside her. She embraced the horrible, nasty darkness that has sucked her heart into a black hole. It wasn’t empowering, it wasn’t even a revelation. It was simple fact. This was her life.

“Miss Lewis,” Jarvis’ voice called out to her, startling her out of the blank stare she was caught up in. Blinking slowly she replied back, “Yes, Jarvis?”

“Sir has asked that you come down to his lab. He has something for you,” Jarvis said softly.

“Is it important?” Darcy asked not really wanting to move from her spot even though the kink in her neck really was starting to get to her.

“Yes it is, to you,” the AI responded almost knowingly, it sometimes threw her for a loop how empathic Jarvis could be. If there ever was a robot take over she hoped Jarvis would be on their side. Her thoughts briefly traveled to the Will Smith movie ‘I, Robot’.

“Alright, I’ll be there in a few…”

The ride down to Tony’s lab was quiet. She wouldn’t necessarily call it peaceful but it definitely felt nicer than the usual chatter she encountered in the tower. Once Darcy was off the elevator she glanced around to see no one here. Of course Tony didn’t generally have a lot of people invading his space, mostly because he hated it but in the wake of Steve’s passing it seemed even more pronounced than before.

Darcy walked through the open door into his lab, his usual music not blaring. It was so silent that it was almost eerie and depressing. Her heart thumped in her chest as she thought of how Tony was taking Steve’s death. Yes, she was hit very hard by it, but it probably wasn’t her that was hit the most by it though she was suffering more so than the rest. Tony though, it seemed like he took it hardest.

The other day was, again, the first time anyone had seen him since the funeral. He spoke during it, surprisingly held himself together long enough before just straight up walking out. Pepper waited for the lowering of the coffin before she left to console Tony.

Darcy frowned as she moved about the lab, it was more destroyed than usual and there were more bottles of rum, vodka and whiskey than a damn liquor store. Most were empty, some on their side with the alcohol dripping out of them and leaving puddles behind. She side stepped a bottle of Jack that looked to have fell over while mostly full. Such a terrible waste.

“Tony?” she called out finally. She couldn’t find him standing so clearly he was either sitting somewhere in this chaos or lying somewhere among the machines and tables. After a minute of searching she noticed a hand sticking up just to her left.

“Here,” he called back, keeping his hand raised as Darcy made her way over there. She stepped into a puddle of rum, frowning as her shoe got soaked in it. The smell was strong and would more than likely stick around for quite awhile on her shoe. Lovely.

“What are you doing?” Darcy inquired as she found him leaning against a table, bottle of rum by his side and a box of what looked like assorted pictures. She immediately pinpointed a picture of the team at the top. Tony waved his hand at the box before lifting the bottle to his lips for a healthy gulp of rum.

“Just,” he breathed out, slight cough stopping him mid-sentence, “looking through pictures.”

“And you thought of me?” she asked next, making room to sit down beside him.

“Yep, found this in my box,” Tony stated, lifting a picture from underneath the team picture to give to her. “Figured you might like it.”

Darcy took a hold of it, her lip quivering as she took in the image. It was a picture of her and Steve, looked to have been taken during a party Tony had thrown not too long ago. She was dressed in a pretty blue dress, mostly modest in the bust though it was hard to keep anything that way with her chest while he was dressed in a nicely pressed blue that matched almost to a ‘T’ of her dress. She remembered them laughing at the coincidence.

The picture showed Steve smiling broadly as he gazed down at her as Darcy had her head slightly thrown back mid-laugh. It wasn’t a bad picture; she flushed a little when she noticed that Steve had his right hand out in a lowered fashion like he was touching her lower back. Had he? Darcy could barely remember that party to be honest. It was so long ago, possibly a year old.

“You and Steve never really had time to interact much…he liked you though,” Tony stated softly, his gaze on the picture as well. “That’s the only picture I have of you both together, I thought you might like to keep it…closure and that shit.”

Darcy snorted at his scoff as he gulped some more rum. She reached over to take the bottle from him, taking her own healthy gulp. It burned hard down her throat causing a coughing fit that made Tony chuckle.

“I wish,” Darcy started out, wiping at her mouth as she handed the bottle back to him, “that I had made more time for him. That I wasn’t so afraid to act on my crush…” The confession felt releasing to her. The heavy weight lifting off her shoulders as she leaned back against the table, bumping shoulders with Tony.

“Tch, you weren’t the only one, Kid. Steve should have taken his head out of his ass…crazy about you, he just…” Tony shrugged, “didn’t know what to do about it…”

“That definitely made two of us,” Darcy commented drily, downing another gulp of rum. She wasn’t intending to get drunk with Tony, just needed to get the edge off as they talked. Plus Tony was so far ahead of her that she couldn’t hope to catch up.

“Well, in my experience you can do either two things,” Tony waved his hand out, “drink till you drop like myself or,” he waved his other hand out, “get yourself back together like a jigsaw puzzle and hope the pieces stick.”

“What if some pieces are missing?” Darcy questioned faintly, turning her head to gaze at Tony. He merely glanced at her, dropping his hands.

“They’ll…always be missing…sometimes the picture won’t ever be complete but,” Tony sat up quickly, this time connecting his eyes with Darcy fully. “It’s not in how the pieces make the picture, it’s how the picture comes through even with missing pieces…”

Darcy felt a tear slip from her eye. This moment with Tony was so surreal; she knew he could be human even when he liked to act as though he was just as much a machine as his iron suit. It was so easy to dismiss him as being a heartless, asshole that self-indulged and acted so immaturely. Yet, here he was being such a voice of reason that it choked out emotions from her that she never thought she’d experience with him.

“You’ll get through this kid.”

“No,” Darcy shook her head, reaching over to tug Tony into her arms, holding him tightly to her. “We’ll make it through this.” Tony closed his arms around her back as they sat on the cold, hard floor and hugged.

It lasted longer than she thought he’d allow, but then maybe he truly needed this even more than she did. Darcy spent the rest of the night talking with Tony, not so much on their grief but about other topics including just remembering Steve and the antics they got into with him. Though she didn’t have as many memories created with Steve, she did have enough that had her and Tony cracking up on the floor.

By the time it got to be ten at night Tony decided they both needed to get to bed. He walked her back to her apartment, squeezing her shoulder in comfort before leaving her. Darcy sat down at her couch, staring once more at the bottle. There was still over half of it left.

It was strange how earlier she was so…complacent with her depression and willing to let it consume her. But now…seeing Tony and everything, it just put things into a better perspective. Darcy looked down to the picture in her hand; she brushed her thumb over Steve’s face. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she stared at him. He was so handsome, but his attitude and his heart made him beautiful. She didn’t think there’ll ever be a man half as good and decent as Steve, never one who could ever hold a flame to him.

A yawn escaped her but she knew it didn’t mean she would be able to sleep. Maybe with these dreams she would be able to gain her closure over her guilt and grief. Maybe having Steve there, if only for a few minutes was better than not having him at all. Who was to say that once she got back to her old sleeping patterns and beat insomnia that he’ll stop showing up? What if it was a her thing and not so much the magical sleeping potion Thor gave her?

Darcy took her picture and bottle back to her bedroom where she sat the bottle down first then carefully set up the picture into a frame where she set it on her night stand. She studied the picture for a few minutes; it was hard to keep her eyes off of it. Another yawn provoked her to set up for bed, for once she felt a bit more peaceful this time around than she had the other times. Falling asleep took a little longer than before but it was definitely more peaceful in comparison.

She woke up at some point in the night, her consciousness alerted to her that she hadn’t dreamed through her sleep. Darcy tried not to be disappointed that she didn’t dream of Steve like she had been. The thought that maybe because she was finally getting closure that she might not be able to dream of him again.

Darcy sniffled sadly, holding back tears as she got up to get a drink of water. She hadn’t ate at all yesterday, she didn’t experience hunger pains so she hadn’t thought of it and with the few swigs of rum she had with Tony left her with slight cotton mouth. She greedily drank two cups of water as she looked around her apartment. Nothing was out of place.

Sighing, Darcy set the cup into the sink and turned to make her way into her bedroom when she heard a thud outside her door. She jumped at the sudden noise then frowned at the door. Slowly, cautiously she walked towards her front door, peering through the eye hole to see no one around though that didn’t mean much considering how dark it was in the hall. She backed away slowly from the door, frown still present on her lips.

After a minute or two of waiting Darcy turned around. She jumped back half a step when she ran right into a broad chest, hard as a rock.

It was Steve.

Darcy opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t produce any noise. He looked haunted, face in the shadows but his eyes…they looked empty. It didn’t make sense though; Darcy was so sure she was awake! She quickly pinched herself to prove it, wincing at the sting.

“Steve,” Darcy tried, waiting for him to make a sound. He didn’t though.

He stood stock still; it was boarding creepy at this point. A lick of fear tickled its way into her heart as his breathing became more labored. She couldn’t help the shake in her hand as she lifted it up to touch him. Unexpectedly Steve shot forward pushing her harshly out of the way and onto the floor of her kitchen.

“Steve!” Darcy shouted, getting to her feet quickly to give chase.

She knew he was quick, but it was crazy how he was already turning down the end of the hall by the time she ran out of her apartment. Darcy took off at a high speed, impressing herself at how quick she was. Turning the corner she barely made out his back in the darkness of the hall before he took to the stairs, light flooding in from the door being pushed open.

Darcy slammed into the door only a mere five seconds later, she frantically looked up and down before catching sight of Steve’s blonde head going down the steps. She briskly took two steps at a time, trying to make up the time lost and the amazing speed Steve had. It was even crazier how she had made it to the ground floor, barely out of breath after racing down forty-six flights of stairs.

Adrenaline ran rampant in her veins as she ran after the blonde. They ran for it seemed like miles, coming up to the grave yard where Steve was buried. Darcy felt a sick wrenching in her gut as she skipped around grave stones, following Steve who was quite a bit ahead of her.

Abruptly she dropped to her knees only a few feet away from where Steve Rogers was buried. The Steve she had been chasing nowhere to be found. Her breath shuddered out of her lungs as she was quite suddenly running on fumes. It seemed her adrenaline was all gone now.

Steve’s gravestone stood up proudly, outshining the other gravestones nearby. There was a beautiful weeping willow tree only two feet from where his gravestone sat, shadowing the plot of land from the moonlight shining upon her. Darcy stared at the stone, craved with his full name, Steven Grant Rogers, his date of birth and death, and finally the insignia of his shield. She remembered thinking how beautifully done it was, no expense spared it seemed.

The last thing Tony could do for his friend.

It took everything in her to get up to her feet again, to barely shuffle towards the gravestone till she was on her knees on the soil that covered the coffin with Steve’s body inside. Her hands came up to touch the cool, smooth stone, her fingers tracing his name.

Darcy felt the sorrow inside burst forth, not completely done with her just yet. A ragged cry echoing from her lips as tears watered in her eyes. Her vision blurred as she stared so hard at the stone.

Something in her snapped.

She needed her proof that Steve was really gone. She needed it!

Darcy jumped to her unsteady feet, rushing over to the shed that looked just as regaled as the gravestones surrounding it. Surprisingly the door was unlocked so she was able to pull a shovel out and walk determinedly to Steve’s grave. Some small part of her begged her to stop, to think things through and not decimate the grave site of a beloved national icon, but a larger part of her just wanted to be done with this.

Seeing his face in that coffin days ago wasn’t enough, she needed to be sure.

Darcy was steadfast in her decision and started digging up soil as fast as she could manage. It took several minutes with many tears and sweat dripping down her back. The wind had picked up as she worked, bringing with it droplets of rain.

It was like the sky wept at the disregard she had towards the dead.

Nothing would deter her though. Darcy wouldn’t let anything stop her, not the rain, not her friends and definitely not Steve. The clank of the shovel hitting a coffin made her pause. Swiftly she pushed dirt aside coming to the top section of the coffin, she noticed the latch that kept it locked and with as much brute force as she possessed slammed the tip of the shovel down on it, breaking the lock.

Trepidation seized her as she touched a hand to the side of the lid. Darcy felt transfixed as she stared at her hand, dirt and rain mixed into mud that crusted under her nails. Her hair was plastered to her back at this point and her clothes were soaked through including Steve’s jacket.

This was it. The moment of truth, the final infallible proof that Steve Rogers, Captain America was dead.

Sucking in a breath of courage, Darcy gripped the side of the lid and pulled it open.

A bright light emerged from the coffin, bursting out like it was being held back. Colors and patterns danced from inside the empty coffin that wasn’t actually empty. Darcy felt her eyes widen so much they hurt as she took everything in. The colors changed by the second, going from blue to orange to red to yellow and more, patterns zigzagging in different shapes.

Darcy could barely follow the movement much less comprehend what she was really looking at. For a good moment the thought that this looked like what she always thought the Einstein-Rosen Bridge would appear crossed her mind, but just as quickly fled to better planes. It was endless, going on forever and she couldn’t look away. Vaguely she realized that Steve’s body was indeed not here, but once again it left her mind just as quickly.

A blink later she shot up from her bed, whipping her head around in shock. “Wait! Why am I in my apartment?”

Darcy looked down at herself, her clothes dry and no dirt beneath her fingers. She quickly patted herself down in case she just didn’t notice any wet spots, but nope she was bone dry except for the sweat going down her neck. Without warning her friends appeared, surrounding her bed and slowly closing in on her like the walls were shifting and moving closer.

“You killed Steve!” They all started chanting, their voices getting louder and louder as closed in on her.

“No! I didn’t!” Darcy cried back, closing her eyes and covering her ears as they kept going. She opened her eyes to see the angry faces of her friends. Tony on her left to Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Pepper, Jane and then Thor on her right; expressions of anger all directed at her.

“You killed Steve!”

“NO!!!” Her voice got shriller, echoing loudly against the walls of the room that were definitely closing in on her. “I didn’t kill Steve! Stop it!! Please stop! STOP!”

Silence filled the room causing Darcy to open her eyes and see everyone gone. Her walls were where they should be and the room was empty of everyone but her. Shaking she slowly dropped her hands from her ears.

“I can’t keep doing this! I can’t!” Looking about her, her eyes latched onto the sight of the bottle then beside it the picture of her and Steve. “Steve…the only time I feel anything good is when I’m with you…in my dreams…”

Abruptly Darcy wiped at her face, removing tears from her cheeks before grabbing the bottle and spoon. “Three spoonfuls, and I’ll never wake up again…but I’ll still have you…”

Her hands shook but she managed to fill the first spoon up, swallowing without actually tasting. Her hands shook less when she poured for the second spoonful, her concentration centered on not spilling a drop. The second swallow also had no taste. As she poured for the third spoonful her hands didn’t shake at all.

Darcy felt that peace from before settle over her again. She was set in her decision, nothing was gonna stop her; nothing. She brought the spoon to her lips slowly, letting the anxiety of the last few days and nights wash away, embracing the new reality she wanted where Steve didn’t die and they could be together like she had always wanted.

“Darcy don’t!” The spoon dropped from her hand, spilling on the floor as she jumped from the sound of Steve’s voice. Her eyes directed over to the picture where it was fully Steve, standing there staring at her with downhearted and woeful eyes. “Do you really want to spend the rest of your life as a vegetable!? You have so much more to give to this world and you deserve so much more than to go out like this!”

“But I can’t! Steve, I can’t go another day without you by my side,” more tears leaked out as she shook.

“Fight it!” Steve urged, his face stern like he always got when he was stubborn.

“I can’t!” Darcy cried back.

“Yes, you can! Darcy, this isn’t you! The Darcy I know doesn’t give up so easily, she loves to live and she loves her friends. This isn’t you,” Steve said softly at the end, face falling into slight despair as he took her in.

Darcy shook her head at him, setting the bottle on the night stand by the frame. “I don’t know how to be that Darcy anymore,” she sadly admitted. Steve looked unconvinced.

“Just because you’ve lost yourself now, it doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself later. Doll, you are so much stronger than this, so much braver.”

“I guess…”

Steve let lose a small smile. “Do you really have to guess?”

“No…” Darcy sighed, lifting her glasses up to wipe the heel of her palm over her right eye.

Suddenly feeling lonely, she reached over to grab the frame pulling the back towards her chest to hold tightly as she closed her eyes.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, Darcy…but there’s something I wanna tell you…something I should have said so long ago…I like you…a lot. And I just never had the courage to ask you out because I thought you didn’t deserve a wreck like me. I may seem like I have everything under control, but it’s a façade; one I’ve carried since before the serum when I was always sick and I…had to make sure no one worried about me. Darcy, I-

“I’m so scared, Steve…I don’t know what to do anymore…I thought I had things figured out but I don’t! I really don’t! Please, I don’t know what to do…” Darcy clung tighter to the frame, trying to hold on to the little bit of sense that she had and all that came from Steve.

“Please, just wake up Darcy…please wake up…” Darcy immediately shook her head.

“No! If I do I’ll lose you again! I can’t, I can’t lose you…”

“Darcy, sweetheart…please just…” his words came slowly, then the sound of tightness entered his throat as he continued on, “please wake up…”

Darcy could tell he was crying as she pulled back the photo to see only Steve’s face now, tears leaving trails down his cheeks as he gazed at her. “I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“Please…”

Everything started to grow hazy in the corners of her eyes, like when she wasn’t wearing her glasses and soon it was over taking her sight. Darcy whined pathetically as she lost her sight and all sound disappeared…

Then the ache in her eyes made her nose twitch. Slowly she opened her eyes, blinking them rapidly when a bright light scorched them. Once she got a chance to see without being blinded she observed the area where she was at. It wasn’t her bedroom in her apartment.

She was in the med-bay of the tower. Gradually she turned to see Steve leaning over the bed, hand tightly laced in hers, fingers intertwined as his shoulders shook. She looked down to see the dark spots of tears blooming on the white sheets of the hospital bed. His hair was spiky and haggard looking, like he hadn’t showered in a long while and from her angle she could make out a severe five o’clock shadow covering his jaw line.

Slowly she squeezed his hand. Steve whipped his head up, their eyes connected as it dawned on him that she was awake. Darcy smiled, “Steve, you’re alive,” she breathed out, squeezing his hand again.

“Darcy! You’re awake! You’re…shit…” he mumbled out the curse before bringing his other hand up to cup the side of Darcy’s face softly. Though he was a bit fuzzy from her lack of glasses being this close to him allowed her to make out much of his face. The expression of relief and the way his shoulders sagged made her smile more.

“Of course, I am…you wouldn’t stop waking me,” she said with a slight croak in her voice. Her throat was dry feeling and her butt sort of hurt. “What happened?”

“After we got shot Clint and Tony got there literally seconds after you passed out with Nat on their tails. Tony was able to get the jet fixed, it was pretty minor and we got to the nearest hospital. We both had to go into surgery, but with my healing capabilities I…got better quickly…” Steve breathed out as steadily as he could; his shoulders shook at the exertion. “You…died twice on the operating table…”

Darcy felt her throat clinch at his words…he wasn’t the one who died, it was her.

“But um, clearly they were able to revive you and once you cleared the first night we knew you’d survive. We didn’t expect you to be in a coma though.” Darcy bit her lip as she looked away from Steve to absorb all this new information.

“So…um the dreams and everything I had weren’t real?” Darcy couldn’t keep herself from asking, when she shifted around to sit up more she noticed Steve’s blue jacket draped around her shoulders. Warmth exploded in her chest at the gesture.

“No, it was all just dreams,” Steve stated, looking her up and down carefully as though looking for anything wrong with her.

“In my dream, it was you who died…” a tear fell from her eye as she watched the display of emotions ripple across his face. He went through surprise then fear then worry before sorrowful understanding came to greet her.

“I got shot four times…it was pretty bad, but being a super-soldier gave me an edge and you, you didn’t have that edge.”

“Steve-

Suddenly the door burst open with so many people spilling in. Jane was at the front of the pack, coming to rest on her left side not occupied by Steve, her arms instantly wrapping around Darcy’s shoulders. “Oh my god, Darcy! I can’t believe you’re awake!!” Jane shouted into her ears, nearly making her deaf.

“Jane!” she whined, pulling her head away from her best friends crying mouth.

She took notice (for the most part, everything was still blurry) that Thor appeared by Jane’s side and that Natasha and Clint were there alongside Pepper, Tony and Rhodey with Sam Wilson coming to stand at Steve’s side. “Hey guys,” she greeted, smiling at every one of them. They all gave off waves of relief as each took her in.

Darcy much preferred all of them around her like this rather than when they were accusing her of killing Steve like in her dream.

“We were worried about you, Darcy. I wasn’t expecting you to fall into a coma so fast after surgery,” Bruce appeared at the door, looking over a clipboard with a tentative smile on his lips when they connected eyes.

“We expected you to wake up hours after your surgery,” Natasha clarified as she reached forward to hold Darcy’s other hand. Steve had yet to relinquish his hold on her right hand and honestly she hoped he never did.

“Once you were stable enough to be moved we got to the tower as fast as we could,” Clint added.

“I arrived posthaste as soon as news was sent to me,” Thor bellowed, leaning over Jane who still held Darcy tightly to press a kiss to her forehead.

“Aw guys,” Darcy gushed, the feeling of their loving care enveloped her tightly.

“We checked up on you as much as we all could,” Pepper spoke up, smiling gently at her. “I had Jarvis keep tabs so we knew exactly when you’d wake up, right down to the second,” Tony commented, his arm coming around Pepper’s shoulders.

“Yeah, but this guy wouldn’t leave your side for even a minute for the whole three weeks you were out,” Sam quickly added, big toothy grin on his face that only got bigger when Steve blushed deeply at the implications of what his friend said to her. Darcy felt her own cheeks flush and gazed over at Steve who looked away at first before directing his sight back on hers fully.

“I was worried, because of my mistake you got hurt,” Steve admitted despairingly, looking down to the floor. Darcy squeezed his hand to gain his attention.

“It wasn’t just your mistake, it was both of ours and we both paid for it not just one of us.”

“He also kept yammering to you all day long, the most I’ve ever seen this man talk,” Rhodey quipped in, his smile good-natured even though he was clearly poking fun at Steve.

“Well I thought if maybe you heard a familiar voice you’d feel safe while out, that maybe it would help bring you back to me-us!” Steve blushed even more at his slip up but everyone seemed semi-nice enough to not draw attention to it. “But who knows if it even got through…”

Darcy released her hold on Jane who got the message and pulled away from her. She turned to Steve pulling him towards her where she felt his hands slide under her arms and around her back into a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and shoulders, trying to not shake from the intense emotions racing through her.

“Trust me, Steve. It got through…it got through…” Darcy whispered into his ear, her sense of peace coming over her. It had always been Steve, his words and his presence kept her mostly grounded while out and gave her that peace she desperately needed so much.

“Okay lovebirds, I want in on a hug here,” Clint joked causing them to pull back from each other, faces bright red.

“I second that, you had me worried, Kid,” Tony smirked down at her as she pulled completely away from Steve.

“Okay, okay hugs all around, but seriously once were done…I need a shower,” Darcy confessed with a laugh on her lips. Steve bit his lips a moment before muttering loudly, “I wasn’t gonna say anything but…”

“Hey, no! You smell just as bad as me, mister,” Darcy wagged her finger at him as he guiltily looked away with a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s so nice to have you back with us, Darcy,” Jane said tenderly, brushing a piece of her hair out of her face.

“Trust me, Jane…it’s so nice to be back…”

 

The End!!

 

 

(Post-credits scene)

 

“You mumbled a bunch in your sleep,” Steve commented as he helped her to the bathroom connected to the room she was in. Darcy wasn’t gonna be able to go back to her own apartment in the tower till she was cleared, but Bruce assured her that by that afternoon she was sure to be cleared. That gave her a sense of relief.

“Really? Did you understand any of it?” Darcy asked as she sat down on the toilet. Steve shrugged his shoulders.

“Not really, just weird mumbles…it helped keep me grounded, to know that you were still there,” Steve admitted shyly, brushing a hand over his head and frowning at the feel of his hair.

“Thanks for helping me get to the shower, but…uh…” she looked over to the shower with the built in seat and spongy carpet inside the stall. He followed her gaze before nodding quickly.

“Right, I guess you’ve got this under control,” Steve quickly waved at the shower, turning to leave her to it and probably grab a shower of his own when her hand shot out to grab the tail of his shirt.

He stopped completely, looking over his shoulder at her. Darcy felt her cheeks flush as she stared at her disobedient hand that latched onto Steve. She looked up from her hand to his face, her heart raced inside her chest but no words came forth to explain herself. Steve watched her carefully for a good moment before turning around, knocking her hand lose of it’s hold. He then got down to his knees so they were eye level with each other. Darcy felt a little faint by his proximity to her.

“There’s something I wanna do before I leave,” Steve confessed quietly, reaching out to trace his index finger along her jaw. A shiver ran down her spine, a sense of déjà vu coming over her.

“Please…” she mumbled out, her own hands grabbing a hold of his tight fitting shirt to drag him closer.

“Doll, you’ll never have to beg me for anything.”

His lips pressed tantalizingly to hers, molding his lips to her mouth like it was meant to always be there. Darcy felt a thrill roll through her, it felt even better than the kiss they shared in her dream. She tilted her head to the left, deepening the kiss between them. Steve breathed harshly through his nose, his hand combing through her hair to cradle the back of her head as though he needed to make sure she stayed right where he wanted her. Rest assured, Darcy wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else especially right then and there.

Steve’s other hand ran lightly down her side before clutching at her hip as they continued to kiss. It was rather tame in comparison to her dream, but then this fit them so much better. There was no guarantee in life, especially the one they currently live in, but Darcy wouldn’t dream of rushing things in fear of missing out. What she regretted most was missing out on the chance to have something more with Steve, it was the thing that haunted her most aside from guilt and so she wasn’t gonna allow anything to stop her from getting that chance. Yet she wasn’t going to rush this either and it seemed Steve was on the same page as well.

Steve pulled back to rest his forehead against her own, their noses lightly brushing as they both regained composure.

“I just…needed to make sure you knew,” he stated lightly, releasing his hold on her head as he pulled back. Darcy lunged forward to kiss him on the lips in a quick peck.

“When I’m allowed we should do dinner or something…” Darcy shrugged impishly, letting her hands finally let go of their death grip on his shirt.

Steve smiled brightly, “Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope the journey was worth it! I definitely loved writing this story. Couldn't resist the post-credits scene, give y'all a little closure that was missing in end of the story. ^_~  
> Show: Futurama  
> Episode: Stinger (Season: 5, Episode: 9)  
> This was one of those episodes that spoke to me, I always wanted to do a story where this happened and I finally got it done so I am very proud of myself! This is also the longest oneshot I have ever written. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Futurama and I did borrow the scenario including some dialogue.


End file.
